Relationships


DEAR PAT:

SWM in search of anyone! I am a 30-something male who sustained a brain injury a number of years ago and my biggest "handicap" is my lack of success with women. Why don't they like me? Pat, I need a date -- please advise!

Sincerely, 
Desparado

DEAR PAT:

My partner (I’m a police officer) suffered a brain injury. He sustained frontal lobe damage. Just looking at him, you would think he’s OK, but he has so many mental problems which he finds difficult to deal with. This man is like a brother to me, and I want so much to help him, but I don’t know how. I try to be there for him when he feels bad but I don’t know what to do. I might be asking an impossible question, but how can I help him? How can I make him feel better? (I wish it were me instead of him)

DEAR PAT:

I am a high school student. A friend of mine, who is 18, sustained a serious brain injury in a skiing accident. I understand that he has made a good recovery and the biggest problem right now is his emotional functioning (he thinks all the nurses want a relationship with him). In the next few days I will be visiting him and I am wondering how I should approach this. What should I talk to him about? Thinking longer term, what can I do to help him in his recovery? Several of my other friends and I are going to the same college, which is where he had planned to attend -- should I expect him to join us? If not, what can I do to help this person not feel abandoned?

DEAR PAT:

Six months ago, I had a serious brain injury and have been unable to return to work. I recently found out that my husband is having an affair. I want to confront him, but I am worried about what happens if he leaves me. I’m not sure I can take care of everything on my own.

DEAR PAT:

I have a friend who was in an accident over a year ago. He says he had a brain injury and now uses this as an excuse to abuse his wife and the people around him. I do believe that people suffer from brain injuries, but I also know this person’s reputation for conning money from others. Is there physical evidence involved in the diagnosis of brain injury or do the doctors just go by the patient’s reported symptoms? We have been told that all of his inappropriate behavior is not his fault and is due to medications and injury, but what I fail to understand is that he is the exact same person he was before the accident. Only now he is suing for a lot of money and he has the doctor’s support. Help! We don’t understand.

DEAR PAT:

My life is in a rut. I do the same thing every day and see the same few people. Life is so dull and lacks luster. Plus, it's been three years since I had a head injury and I haven't been out on a date since. At first, I was too busy getting well to worry about dating. I didn't know what the future had in store for me. Over time, I've found out that I don't have as much in common with the people I used to have as good friends. I'm trying to think of ways to meet new people (maybe even someone special) and to find different activities that are more in line with who I am today. Help!

DEAR PAT:

I’ve recently re-entered the dating scene after 4 years of absence. I had a brain injury in 1998 and lost my girlfriend soon after. It really hurt that she didn’t stay with me. I was pretty mad and had a hard time trusting people for a while. I’m completely over her now, but I am afraid of dating someone new. I don’t think anyone would really want me because of my head injury. I get embarrassed easily and can’t think of the right words to say all the time. I don’t want them to think I’m dumb, so I usually avoid being around a lot of people.

After many weeks of pestering me, my older brother finally talked me into going on a date with a family friend. I thought the date went great. We went out to dinner and then to a bar, partying until 2 a.m. I told her all about my ex-girlfriend, how she left me high and dry after the accident, and how long it’s been since I’ve been out on a date. We talked for hours about my brain injury and what I went through getting better. I took her home, but she wouldn’t give me a goodnight kiss. When I tried to call her the next day, she wouldn’t even talk to me. I left messages, but she hasn’t returned my phone calls. What do I do now?

                                                                -- Dating Dud

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